Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries will need to reach us by Friday 14 March.

by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by fax to: 020 7490 7093
 

The Archbishop had been speaking for only about 20 minutes when the feather duster loomed into view. Somehow the management had forgotten to cancel Betty, who always came on Tuesdays   Tom Corfield

Whilst making a speech on his foreign trip, the Archbishop was offered the local delicacy: cat ona stick   Chris Coupe

WE EXPECTED our readers to imagine what was in front of the Archbishop of Canterbury during an address in Africa for our last caption competition. We were not disappointed.

"The ice-cream salesman wondered whether the Archbishop had forgotten the chocolate cone he'd ordered" (Paul Cliffors); "A blind brush and a plug spanner - all that was left after the Archbishop auctioned off the contents of the Bishop's Palace at Wells" (Ray Morris); "Mmm, let me see. It's either the lollipop or the candyfloss. . ." (Peter Sebbage); "The Archbishop hoped that the dalek was only coming for a blessing, as he was not sure where to put a wafer" (Graham Evans).

We were impressed by the sharp eyes of our readers. Interpretations varied, however: "As the Archbishop read from Jonah, a large whale, with very white teeth, loomed ominously in the background" (Tom Page); "The Archbishop was praying for an idea for Fresh Expressions when a pyramid began to appear through the mist" (Sue Chick); and "Despite the tornado approaching outside the window, once again he forbade the blessing of same-sex partnerships" (Edward Mynors).

Ah, yes, the tickling stick: "No one had told the Archbishop of Canterbury that in a Fresh Expression he was sharing the billing with Ken Dodd" (John Radford); "I am pleased to announce that this year's hymn award goes to Ken Dodd's 'Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess. I thank the Lord I've been blessed with more than my share of happiness'" (Christopher Drew); "The Archbishop enjoyed giving the Ken Dodd Foundation annual lecture" (David Ison); and "It was a close thing, but security got to Doddy before Doddy got to the Archbishop" (Russ Bravo).

Regarding domestic duties: "While the Archbishop of Canterbury had a little nap, his housekeeper took the opportunity to give him a brief dusting" (George Frost); "The Archbishop got a dusting down during his open air address" (Daphne Foster); and "Dustin' Justin" (Christopher Drew).

In the "actually, they were microphones" section, two from Richard Barnes: "It was the Feast of the Mikes at All Angles" and "Each heard him in their own language; fluffy Liberals, acute Catholics, and straight-up Evangelicals." There was also: "In the milieu of microphones, it seemed hard that someone thought he talked out of the back of his head" (Dick Chown).

We especially liked: "His teeth were clean, his hair combed; and, once he'd finished with the cotton bud, he'd be ready for the final polish and brush-up" (Alison Rollin); "Should the Archbishop go on a tad too long about women bishops, the guy with the cosh was to be ready to act accordingly" (Michael Salinger); and "As he berated the increase in child poverty, a boy arrived to sweep the Palace chimneys" (Michael Doe).

We chose two winners, each of whom will be sent Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine (divinechocolate.com).