"SWEET sixteen, goes to church just to see the boys," went the words of a popular song from the 1960s. Teenagers today, however, might be puzzled by them.

Until about 40 years ago, there were many boys in church choirs, and as servers and bell-ringers, but very few girls; so those words then had real meaning. Now, if a teenage girl went to church "just to see the boys", she would be in for a shock, as in most churches the choirboy is virtually extinct, and boy servers and bell-ringers are going that way. Usually now, if there are any young people doing these duties, they will mostly be girls.

One may, therefore, ask what has happened. Why has the equalising of the sexes not brought about a gender balance among young people undertaking these tasks in churches, but, rather, led to a substantial disappearance of the boys?
 

BACK in 1971, I formed a small youth group for the boy servers of St Peter's, Barnstaple. The style of that group, with its many trips to events and places in the UK and beyond, made it popular, and it grew to become an organisation, Youthlink (England & Wales).

It was well established when, in 1985, the groups were open to all young people, male and female, subject to the availability of same-sex leaders.

It is Youthlink's policy always to involve the young people in decision-making, and when I asked the boys whether they would like girls in their groups, they were very hesitant in giving their answers. They prefixed their comments with such phrases as: "I like girls, but . . ." and "I am not gay, but . . ." They mostly preferred that at least some groups remained boys-only.

This seems to be no different from the girls' wishing to keep their girls-only groups. It is about real equality.
 

OVER the years, I teased out some of the reasons why this might be. There were feelings that in a mixed group, the wishes of the girls took priority.

There was the feeling that they still had many girls-only groups, such as Guides, Brownies, majorettes, and female-only keep-fit sessions, but boys-only groups had been almost exterminated - with the exception of some sports teams, particularly for football and rugby. The principal reason, however, was simply that boys need a little space to be boys, just as girls need a little space to be girls.

Whereas it is now acceptable among their peers and society in general for girls to have names like boys, dress like boys, look like boys, act like boys, and do traditionally boy-style things, it is certainly not acceptable for boys to do "girlie" activities. And so when girls outnumber boys in a church choir or a team of servers, the boys feel a threat to their masculinity, and the end usually comes swiftly.

THERE are various ways of addressing the problem. One church, where the choir died out 30 years ago, decided to form a boys' choir with a high musical standard. It was very successful but, as had been expected, the cry went up "What about the poor girls?"

As had been planned, they then formed a girls' choir, with different robes. On one Sunday, the boys' choir sings from the choir stalls, and the girls' choir leads the congregation from the transept. The next Sunday, their positions are reversed. On major festivals, they alternate, one or other choir sitting in front of the unused high altar. They have separate choir outings, but a joint Christmas party. The system is said to work very well.

Another church has only boy servers and only girls in the choir. In a number of other places, Youthlink has also successfully run a boys-only youth club and a girls-only club, which come together on occasions. In many cases, some form of girls-only group has already been present.

It might seem wrong to have single-sex anything today, but if churches run such activities on a roughly equal basis, it could fulfil a real need. Pastorally, it can be enormously helpful, as problems are aired that might not be mentioned in a gathering together of girls and boys.

It also acts as an excellent way of evangelising young people - as has been the experience at Youthlink. There is a depth in discussions on matters of faith which is not always found in mixed groups. It is worth trying.

The Revd Geoffrey Squire is a retired priest in the diocese of Exeter.