*** DEBUG END ***

Caption Competition

31 January 2014

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 24 January.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to:
Caption Competition, Church Times,    3rd floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093


THERE was sympathy for Pope Francis among our caption-competition entrants: "If you think that's juggling, try a worldwide juggle of 412,236 priests, 221,055 parishes, and 136,438 Catholic schools" (Chris Coupe).

Vatican finances were in the forefront of readers' minds: "Pope Francis had asked that someone would demonstrate to him the workings of the Vatican Bank" (Christopher Tookey); "Your Holiness may take this act as symbolic of the skill Ican bring to handling church finances" (Francis Ball); and "We've already had problems with people juggling in the Vatican Bank" (Sue Chick).

A few at random: "When asked how he juggled his various commitments as Pope, Francis simply replied 'delegation'" (James Betteridge) "The Pope is a great advocate for the poor, but is he 'clubbable'?" (John Appleby); and "His Holiness blesses new vestments and cruets for Ordinary time" and "The newest Fresh Expression, Cocktail Church, catches on in Rome" (both from Richard Barnes).

There was one particularly obvious pun. The entry in this category which we liked the best was: "Those who thought Pope Francis was too easy-going had suggested he should go for the jugular" (Liz Breuilly).

In the theological corner: "All in all, it was a good demonstration of the interior dynamics of the Holy Trinity" (Richard Hough); "'Anyone who can cope with the Athanasian Creed,' he reflected, 'should be able to manage this bit of juggling'" (Christopher Wain); "His predecessor's cellar of slim-line bottles of champagne was put to good use as a sermon illustration" (Edward Mynors); "Now, imagine this new skittle represents the Vicar's fourth parish. . ." (Stephen Day).

In no particular order: "Which cardinal should I dismiss next?" (Daphne Foster); "Although he had lost most of the pomp and ceremony he hadn't the heart to lose the court jester" (George Frost); "As the only judge in Catholics' Got Talent, the Pope now wished he had opted to have the big red button" (Chris Coupe); "In view of Benedict's abrupt departure, auditions for Francis's successor are well on the way" (Don Manley); "He was quietly pleased that despite his elevation to the Throne of St Peter, his powers of levit-ation remained undiminished" (Stephen Disley); and "This is one time when my right hand does need to know what the left one is doing" (Christine Morgan).

We particularly liked: "Traditionalists . . . liberals . . . women. . . So that's how it's done" (Vivien Moores); "David was hoping to impress the Pope and be the next cardinal appointed, but unfortunately Archbishop Nichols's act with the unicycle carried the day" (George Frost); "It was Vatican III that introduced into the liturgy the option of juggling the cruets at the offertory" (Phil Williams); "'I'm learning a lot from this man,' thought the Pope. 'Church of England priests develop marvellous skills'" (John Penny); and ". . . But practise indoors first before performing on your balcony" (John Samson).

Divine (divinechocolate.com) has once again donated a prize of Fairtrade chocolate.

Forthcoming Events

25 January 2022
Preaching Lament and Hope
A Durham workshop from the College of Preachers.

More events

Welcome to the Church Times

​To explore the Church Times website fully, please sign in or subscribe.

Non-subscribers can read four articles for free each month. (You will need to register.)