Our next competition
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(above). Entries will need to reach us by Friday 4
April.
by post (postcards only)
to:
Caption Competition, Church Times 3rd floor,
Invicta House 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG
by email
to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Our last competition
Hmmm - definitely no room at the inn
for this one
Alinda Woodrow
THERE was a suitably large postbag for our last caption
competition, featuring an oversized Baby Jesus from Mexico
City.
Gathered round the font, we had: "Finally, one ordinand
shouted up, 'OK, so who ordered the XXXL-size doll for baptism
practice?'" and "After measuring the practice
doll, they realised that, no matter what, the font would be too
small" (both by Chris Coupe); and "As they filled
the baptismal font, it dawned on them that Elvis was going to be a
big lad. . ." (Andy Muckle).
There was a cluster of flooding gags: "The bath water
had gone, but the baby was proving to be much more
difficult" (Michael Salinger); "Crikey; if we
throw the bath-water out with this baby, we're going to drown the
whole of Egham" (Diana Jones); and "As the abbey
prepared for the annual 'Baby and Bathwater' service, the good
people of Tewkesbury had learnt that it was time to refill the
sandbags" (Janet Chapman).
A few cultural references: "Amazon's Lilliput depot
guarantees delivery in time for Christmas" (John Saxbee);
"Still inspired by their latest series of Call the
Midwife, the men of Lilliput were keen to assist at the
delivery of Mrs Gulliver's daughter" (Jonathan Haigh); and
"Look, I've watched Call the Midwife, and I'm sure
you're supposed to take off the used nappy before putting on the
clean one" (Sue Chick).
Other entries: "The eyes of the ladies in the
congregation all watered"; "The lads lifting the
model of Mary looked glum" (both Vicky Lundberg);
"Childhood obesity was causing ever greater problems for
the ambulance service" (Dick Chown); "The child
grew; the donkey was not up to the Flight to Egypt"
(Christopher Lewis). "Can a woman's tender care, cease
toward the child she bare? Yes. . ." (Peter Ball);
"If that was the size of her first-born, no wonder Mary
decided not to have another one" (Michael Palmer);
"Never again would the baby Jesus go missing from the crib
scene" (James Betteridge).
We particularly enjoyed three entries from Richard Barnes:
"A weigh-in a manger"; "As the family had
forgotten to pack away the nativity scene, the Borrowers decided to
take matters into their own hands"; and
"Seminarians get to grips with Aquinas's Sumo
Theologica". Also: "I'm sorry, Reverend
Dodgson, but Alice has overdosed on the antidote again"
(Ray Morris).
The prize of Fairtrade chocolate for the winner was kindly
donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com)