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Caption competition

28 March 2014


Our next competition

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries will need to reach us by Friday 4 April.

by post (postcards only)


Caption Competition, Church Times 3rd floor, Invicta House 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by email

to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

Our last competition



Hmmm -  definitely no room at the inn for this one

Alinda Woodrow

THERE was a suitably large postbag for our last caption competition, featuring an oversized Baby Jesus from Mexico City.

Gathered round the font, we had: "Finally, one ordinand shouted up, 'OK, so who ordered the XXXL-size doll for baptism practice?'" and "After measuring the practice doll, they realised that, no matter what, the font would be too small" (both by Chris Coupe); and "As they filled the baptismal font, it dawned on them that Elvis was going to be a big lad. . ." (Andy Muckle).

There was a cluster of flooding gags: "The bath water had gone, but the baby was proving to be much more difficult" (Michael Salinger); "Crikey; if we throw the bath-water out with this baby, we're going to drown the whole of Egham" (Diana Jones); and "As the abbey prepared for the annual 'Baby and Bathwater' service, the good people of Tewkesbury had learnt that it was time to refill the sandbags" (Janet Chapman).

A few cultural references: "Amazon's Lilliput depot guarantees delivery in time for Christmas" (John Saxbee); "Still inspired by their latest series of Call the Midwife, the men of Lilliput were keen to assist at the delivery of Mrs Gulliver's daughter" (Jonathan Haigh); and "Look, I've watched Call the Midwife, and I'm sure you're supposed to take off the used nappy before putting on the clean one" (Sue Chick).

Other entries: "The eyes of the ladies in the congregation all watered"; "The lads lifting the model of Mary looked glum" (both Vicky Lundberg); "Childhood obesity was causing ever greater problems for the ambulance service" (Dick Chown); "The child grew; the donkey was not up to the Flight to Egypt" (Christopher Lewis). "Can a woman's tender care, cease toward the child she bare? Yes. . ." (Peter Ball); "If that was the size of her first-born, no wonder Mary decided not to have another one" (Michael Palmer); "Never again would the baby Jesus go missing from the crib scene" (James Betteridge).

We particularly enjoyed three entries from Richard Barnes: "A weigh-in a manger"; "As the family had forgotten to pack away the nativity scene, the Borrowers decided to take matters into their own hands"; and "Seminarians get to grips with Aquinas's Sumo Theologica". Also: "I'm sorry, Reverend Dodgson, but Alice has overdosed on the antidote again" (Ray Morris).

The prize of Fairtrade chocolate for the winner was kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com)



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