Our next competition
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(above). Entries must reach us by Friday 3 October.
by email to:
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition, Church Times, 3rd floor, Invicta
House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Our last competition
READERS will be relieved to hear that no drivers were harmed in
the production of this caption-competition photo, sent in by a
reader, although the elderly driver was reportedly a little
disorientated, not least when he, an Orthodox Jew, was led into the
church to recover.
There were some lively entries: "The row over church
parking was escalating" (Sr Therese OJN); "The
drive-through service was obviously not being held at St Paul's
this week" (Daphne Foster); "SEAThamba - We are
parking in the light of God" (Richard Barnes); and
"Just too late, Flo noticed that the new Vicar had moved
the gateposts" (Brian Stevenson).
Time to get the puns out of the way: "As the sermon
reached its climax, the Vicar got ready to drive his point
home" (Anne Stewart); "Is this example of parking
a car-denial sin?" (Lesley Ennis); and "The
wedding photographer always succeeded in securing pole
position" (John Sullivan).
Richard Hough, among others, assumed that the driver was
clerical: "The Vicar made his usual protest about the PCC
not allocating him a parking space in the church
forecourt"; and "After getting close to the notice
board to make quite sure that he had come to the right church, the
visiting preacher realised that he needed another eye
The satnav section: "You have now reached your
destination" (Rick Thompson); "The satnav's proven
accuracy of 'to within ten yards' still proved inadequate"
(Mike Butterworth); and "If only the speaker on Thought
for the Day hadn't sounded like Jim's satnav when he said 'Now
let us turn to God'" (Ray Morris).
More randomly: "Perhaps Mavis was taking her favourite
hymn, 'Nearer, my God, to thee', rather too literally"
(Michael Foster); "The 90-degree rotational error in
Kevin's bifocals was disastrous" (Mike Butterworth);
"Enter through the narrow gate. Only a few find
it" (Philip Evans); "As long as she was willing to
play the organ, the Vicar would forgive her unorthodox
parking" (Edward Mynors).
Among our favourites: "The PCC's communications team was
as surprised as anyone at the magnetic effect of the new
noticeboard" (John Sullivan); "Jehu always arrived
at the last minute" (Monica Pickering); "The Vicar
carefully parked his car and popped a Tic Tac before taking his
sixth eucharist of the day" (Kim Fabricius); and
"You and your car need a service, sir" (William
We fell for two entries this week, each deserving a prize of
Fairtrade chocolate kindly donated by Divine, divinechocolate.com
"St Paul's was noted for its Late
"St Paul's, eh? So let's go with: 'You
see, Officer, I was on the road, and
suddenly this blinding light . .