Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(above). Entries must reach us by Sunday 28 December.
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition, Church Times, 3rd
floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
THE proposed tunnel under Stonehenge (picture below) caught the
imagination of many of our readers: "The new motorway
across Salisbury Plain was progressing rapidly. It was actually the
Prime Minister who spotted the problem" (Tom Corfield);
"As regards the tunnel, there's plenty of material already
on site that can be reused" (Stuart McDonald); "To
save costs, Prime Minister, we are incorporating part of the
original structure in the new flyover" (Philip Smith); and
"We only dug a tunnel underneath the cathedral to ease the
traffic congestion in the centre of Salisbury"
Richard Barnes reprised last time's winning entry:
"Another case of Extreme Croquet." Readers will be
familiar with allusions to planning regulations: "You see,
Mr Cameron, this is what happens if people alter the fabric without
applying for a faculty" (Christopher Wain).
Many entries followed a common thread: "Get me the
Minister on the phone. This place badly needs repairing"
(Richard Hough); "It's an application to the Listed Places
of Worship Roof Repair Fund from Archdruid Rowan" (Richard
Barnes); "I know the new £15-million repair fund is for
roofs, but are you sure this place ever had one?" (Tom
Keates); "I think if we put the conservatory over here,
we'll get even more light in" (Jane Wyles); "It
dawned on David that the chapel he'd bought from Ikea might not
have been a good idea" (Tom Buchanan); "And the
cavity-wall insulation to cut carbon emissions goes where,
exactly?" (Marcus Booth); and "The four estate agents decided to
market the site as 'would suit keen DIY enthusiast'"
It was the PM in the photo, of course; so there were inevitable
references to Westminster matters: "With the Deputy PM
strapped to the sacrificial altar, some questioned the motivation
for the Prime Minister's conversion to paganism" (George
Frost); "If you look very carefully, you can just see Nick
Clegg hiding behind the second stone from the left"
(Michael Watts); "Is this the stone on which we're going to
sacrifice Mr Farage?" (Ian Falconer); and "No,
Prime Minister, you can't turn the Leader of the Opposition into
stone: he's not hard enough" (Bill de Quick).
More in that strain: "Like everything that's in ruins in
this country, this is the fault of the last Labour
Government" (Ian Falconer); "No amount of spin
will convince the voters, thought David, as he met by the
Coalition's stock of social housing" (Vicky Lundberg); and
"No, Prime Minister, it was like this even before it was
nationalised" (John Saxbee).
At random: "Looks like the home team lost
again" (Mary Wood); "Having tried the Church of
England, David Cameron moved on to wooing the Druid vote"
(George Frost); "What is important is that you camouflage
all of our fracking rigs like this" (Simon Court);
"And the fracking drill site would be just here,
PM" (Chris Coupe); and "Are we sure these stones
have been here long enough to qualify for benefits?"
Also: "Not too hopeful, Prime Minister, but we'll try
again at the Spring Solstice" (Pamela Tudor-Craig);
"You are right, Prime Minister, they should never have been
allowed to build it so near a main road in the first
place" and "Bluestones, eh? Clearly another Tory
triumph" (both John Saxbee).
Divine (divinechocolate.com) has once again provided a
prize of Fairtrade chocolate. We have one winner this