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Caption competition

by
19 December 2014

APEX

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Sunday 28 December.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times,  3rd floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

 

THE proposed tunnel under Stonehenge (picture below) caught the imagination of many of our readers: "The new motorway across Salisbury Plain was progressing rapidly. It was actually the Prime Minister who spotted the problem" (Tom Corfield); "As regards the tunnel, there's plenty of material already on site that can be reused" (Stuart McDonald); "To save costs, Prime Minister, we are incorporating part of the original structure in the new flyover" (Philip Smith); and "We only dug a tunnel underneath the cathedral to ease the traffic congestion in the centre of Salisbury" (Christopher Wain).

Richard Barnes reprised last time's winning entry: "Another case of Extreme Croquet." Readers will be familiar with allusions to planning regulations: "You see, Mr Cameron, this is what happens if people alter the fabric without applying for a faculty" (Christopher Wain).

Many entries followed a common thread: "Get me the Minister on the phone. This place badly needs repairing" (Richard Hough); "It's an application to the Listed Places of Worship Roof Repair Fund from Archdruid Rowan" (Richard Barnes); "I know the new £15-million repair fund is for roofs, but are you sure this place ever had one?" (Tom Keates); "I think if we put the conservatory over here, we'll get even more light in" (Jane Wyles); "It dawned on David that the chapel he'd bought from Ikea might not have been a good idea" (Tom Buchanan); "And the cavity-wall insulation to cut carbon emissions goes where, exactly?" (Marcus Booth); and "The four estate agents decided to market the site as 'would suit keen DIY enthusiast'" (Chris Coupe).

It was the PM in the photo, of course; so there were inevitable references to Westminster matters: "With the Deputy PM strapped to the sacrificial altar, some questioned the motivation for the Prime Minister's conversion to paganism" (George Frost); "If you look very carefully, you can just see Nick Clegg hiding behind the second stone from the left" (Michael Watts); "Is this the stone on which we're going to sacrifice Mr Farage?" (Ian Falconer); and "No, Prime Minister, you can't turn the Leader of the Opposition into stone: he's not hard enough" (Bill de Quick).

More in that strain: "Like everything that's in ruins in this country, this is the fault of the last Labour Government" (Ian Falconer); "No amount of spin will convince the voters, thought David, as he met by the Coalition's stock of social housing" (Vicky Lundberg); and "No, Prime Minister, it was like this even before it was nationalised" (John Saxbee).

At random: "Looks like the home team lost again" (Mary Wood); "Having tried the Church of England, David Cameron moved on to wooing the Druid vote" (George Frost); "What is important is that you camouflage all of our fracking rigs like this" (Simon Court); "And the fracking drill site would be just here, PM" (Chris Coupe); and "Are we sure these stones have been here long enough to qualify for benefits?" (Alexander Faludy).

Also: "Not too hopeful, Prime Minister, but we'll try again at the Spring Solstice" (Pamela Tudor-Craig); "You are right, Prime Minister, they should never have been allowed to build it so near a main road in the first place" and "Bluestones, eh? Clearly another Tory triumph" (both John Saxbee).

Divine (divinechocolate.com) has once again provided a prize of Fairtrade chocolate. We have one winner this week.

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