From the Revd Julian Hollywell
Sir, - I enjoyed Colin Baldy's attempt not to be a grumpy old
man when lamenting current trends in wedding protocol (Comment, 9 May).
I know him to be a fine church musician, and he has in no small
way contributed to making St Mary's, Maldon, a place of liturgical
excellence and inclusion, both of which are an inspiration to the
wider Church.
Although he denies it, however, he is making the mistake of
assuming that the criteria by which we judge dignity or
prayerfulness are absolute. They are not. Even in a contractual
sense, the couple are paying a fair amount of money for the
occasion; so to me it seems more than reasonable that their wishes
are given credulity.
We, too, are a church of inclusive Catholic heritage where the
liturgy is taken seriously. We, too, have a very busy summer
programme of weddings, which will range from the traditional (by
far the majority) through to the more modern, and a sprinkling of
the eccentric. A most enjoyable wedding last year involved our all
learning the children's song "Mr Cow, how do you say to the Lord, I
love you", along with the bride and groom's young family. Was it
dignified? I would say resoundingly, Yes.
Dignity and prayerfulness have very little to do with whether
the bride came into Beyoncé or whether she was persuaded to choose
Handel instead, let alone the order of the procession or if there
was a procession at all. (I rather warm to couples who choose to
start the service together.)
Prayerfulness and dignity are engendered when we who officiate
treat those gathered in what is their parish church with respect,
and when, as priests, we communicate both the joy and the
importance of the occasion in a way that people can relate to,
rather than intimidate them with what they should be
experiencing.
On the Saturday before last, I married J. and R. There were no
hymns, the music was all modern and secular, played through my
iPod, there was quite a lot of clapping, as the couple were very
nervous, and their friends and family wanted to express their love
and encouragement, and the couple asked me to select a reading as
my gift to them, because they didn't know much about the Bible.
I will have a wonderful year, and we will have done our job
well, if all the other weddings conducted at the Parish Church this
year feel as welcomed and are as uplifting and Spirit-filled as
theirs.
JULIAN HOLLYWELL
The Vicarage, Gascoigne Drive
Spondon, Derby DE21 7GL