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Caption competition

14 February 2014


This week's competition

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries will need to reach us by Friday 21 February.

by post (postcards only) to:  
Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor Invicta House  
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by fax to: 020 7490 7093 


Responses to the last competition

Who knew? Gerald's prediction had come true: "Hell will freeze over before we have a woman bishop."  Margaret Johnson

It seems that Nostradamus had foretold that there would be no female Archbishop of Canterbury without a considerable drop in the temperature of the infernal regions.  Christopher Wain

"We'll have women bishops when hell freezes over!" was the cathedral's official line. Outside, the signs were looking good.  Corin Child


THE freezing weather in the United States - this is a gargoyle at the National Cathedral, Washington DC - has not been matched in the UK. Readers were, none the less,inventive with their caption-competition entries.

Recent stories about baptism reform featured prominently: "The Devil expressed his opinion on the proposed baptism rite" (Richard Barnes); "Now I'm not renounced in the new baptism rite, I'll fix their water, too" (Jonathan Haigh); and "The Devil was not amused to be frozen out of the new trial baptismal liturgy" (Charles Taylor).

It's best to get a few entries over with early: "It was a big mistake to hold the gargoyles' gargling competition in winter" (John Penny); "That'll teach you to gargoyle outdoors in winter"(B. J. Simmons); "S'not what it seems" (David Mann); "BBC releases photo of newest Doctor Who enemy: the Vomiting Gargoyle" (Richard Barnes); and "I'm sick of this weather" (David Redrobe).

As for the cold: "At St Gargoyles many are cold and a few are frozen" (John Saxbee); and "The ice had not yet been broken with the new Dean" (Richard Hough).

For some, ice had only one application: "St Faith's installs a new ice-maker for aprés-mass drinks" (Richard Barnes); and "The ice was perfect, but needing a 50-foot ladder to get it into a glass was far from ideal" (Chris Coupe).

There was a reticence about some entries: "I'm just waiting to drop this on . . . oh, well, I'd better not say" (Wendy Aird; but not others: "The icicle before it dropped on the Bishop. 'You can do what you like about vestments,' he said later, 'but I'm keeping my mitre'" (Vivien Moores).

Concerning church politics: "To say the atmosphere at the chapter meeting was cool was rather an understatement" (Vicky Lundberg); "The suggestion that preachers should spout less hot air provoked a typically frigid reaction" (Diana Jones); and "Fortunately, the Church of the Laodiceans had not taken delivery of their latest batch of gargoyles" (Christopher Wain).

And we also liked: "You know that awful feeling you get when your carefully prepared sermon is inappropriate for the congregation in front of you" (Edward Mynors); and "The Dawkins Gargoyle Memorial Water Spout struggled a bit in winter" (Russ Bravo).

But we have a soft spot for those who combined a well-worn phrase with news from the General Synod, and fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine (divinechocolate.com), will go to the three best entries in this category.


Mon 04 Jul @ 23:50
Shaykh bin Bayyah is in the UK to attend the Ministerial Conference on Freedom of Religion, which starts on Monday… https://t.co/GRrjS3eAiv

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