This week's competition
Have a go at our next
caption-competition picture (above).
Entries will need to reach us by Friday 21 February.
by post (postcards only) to:
3rd floor Invicta House
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG
by email to: email@example.com
by fax to: 020 7490 7093
Responses to the last
Who knew? Gerald's prediction had come true:
"Hell will freeze over before we have a woman
bishop." Margaret Johnson
It seems that Nostradamus had foretold that there would
be no female Archbishop of Canterbury without a considerable drop
in the temperature of the infernal regions.
"We'll have women bishops when hell freezes over!" was
the cathedral's official line. Outside, the signs were looking
good. Corin Child
THE freezing weather in the United States - this is a gargoyle
at the National Cathedral, Washington DC - has not been matched in
the UK. Readers were, none the less,inventive with their
Recent stories about baptism reform featured prominently:
"The Devil expressed his opinion on the proposed baptism
rite" (Richard Barnes); "Now I'm not renounced in
the new baptism rite, I'll fix their water, too" (Jonathan
Haigh); and "The Devil was not amused to be frozen out of
the new trial baptismal liturgy" (Charles Taylor).
It's best to get a few entries over with early: "It was
a big mistake to hold the gargoyles' gargling competition in
winter" (John Penny); "That'll teach you to
gargoyle outdoors in winter"(B. J. Simmons);
"S'not what it seems" (David Mann); "BBC
releases photo of newest Doctor Who enemy: the Vomiting
Gargoyle" (Richard Barnes); and "I'm sick of this
weather" (David Redrobe).
As for the cold: "At St Gargoyles many are cold and a
few are frozen" (John Saxbee); and "The ice had
not yet been broken with the new Dean" (Richard
For some, ice had only one application: "St Faith's
installs a new ice-maker for aprés-mass drinks" (Richard
Barnes); and "The ice was perfect, but needing a 50-foot
ladder to get it into a glass was far from ideal" (Chris
There was a reticence about some entries: "I'm just
waiting to drop this on . . . oh, well, I'd better not
say" (Wendy Aird; but not others: "The icicle
before it dropped on the Bishop. 'You can do what you like about
vestments,' he said later, 'but I'm keeping my mitre'"
Concerning church politics: "To say the atmosphere at
the chapter meeting was cool was rather an understatement"
(Vicky Lundberg); "The suggestion that preachers should
spout less hot air provoked a typically frigid reaction"
(Diana Jones); and "Fortunately, the Church of the
Laodiceans had not taken delivery of their latest batch of
gargoyles" (Christopher Wain).
And we also liked: "You know that awful feeling you get
when your carefully prepared sermon is inappropriate for the
congregation in front of you" (Edward Mynors); and
"The Dawkins Gargoyle Memorial Water Spout struggled a bit
in winter" (Russ Bravo).
But we have a soft spot for those who combined a well-worn
phrase with news from the General Synod, and fairtrade chocolate,
courtesy of Divine (divinechocolate.com), will go to the three best
entries in this category.