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Caption Competition

by
13 June 2014

JONNIE PARKIN

Entries for our next caption-competition picture (above) must reach us by Friday 20 June

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times,  3rd floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093
 

HIGH spirits during the Archbishop of Canterbury's recent visit to the diocese of Chelmsford led to this encounter with the diocesan bishop. Our readers treated the occasion with the respect it deserved.

There were no particular themes in the entries, so here they are at random: "You be Nick and I'll be Nigel - the colours are right so let battle commence" (Jonathan Haigh); "Then there was a slight disagreement as to the exact nature of the Holy Spirit and his place in the Trinity" (George Frost); "The health-and-safety regulations made the new selection process for Lords Spiritual look faintly ridiculous" (Edward Mynors); and "I know it was a kind thought, but did Rowan really have to pass me down the portable croquet lawn?" (Ray Morris).

Also: "With organists getting thinner on the ground, several diocesan grids are being established to pipe hymn tunes around country parishes"; (Don Manley); "The team-building weekend for staff of the new diocese of Yorkshire & the Dales took many people by surprise" (Sandra Tracey); "Gosh, this prayer mat is heavy!" (Lynda Sebbage); and "Sounds like good fun - but does ramming the gospel down people's throats actually work?" (Vivien Moores).

Then there were: "Some of the battering taken by the Church is definitely self-inflicted" (Michael Foster); "Vicar and curate decided to resolve their differences outside of the clergy-discipline-measure framework" (Alexander Faludy); "Pre-ordination training includes an element of roll-play" (M. J. Leppard).

Several readers sent multiple entries, among them Richard Barnes: "Justin was joustified by faith"; "And this is how Messy Church does Beating the Bounds"; and "The Diocesan Safeguarding Document specified that birettas must be worn during jousting."

Chris Coupe submitted: "Two clerics showed off the new equipment necessary for a successful team ministry"; "Now this is what you use to get in to see the bishop"; "The vicar showed his curate how to get changes through a PCC meeting"; "And if you ever have to lead a youth weekend, you may need one of these, as well as the headgear"; and "The new General Synod policy-changing equipment seemed to get a positive response."

We liked two from Richard Hough: "In Essex we always reckon that size matters"; and "The Bishop unrolls his new plan for the diocese"; three from Sue Chick: "The preparations for Greenbelt were going well"; "The eco-fund-raising effort for St Swithin's had failed, so the team had to find the insulation themselves"; and "I guess we have to be thankful that Moses smashed the tablets of stone, but these scrolls are still pretty unwieldy"; and two from B. J. Simmons: "I think I prefer the old way of electing a new archbishop"; and "The new nicotine-free cigarette substitute still needed work."

The winner once again receives a selection of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com).

"To be honest, I thought that the annual review would be more analytical"

Mark King

Forthcoming Events

18 May 2021
Lift Up Your Voices, Lift Up Your Hearts
Speakers include John Bell, Noel Tredinnick and Helen Bent.

27 May 2021
Book launch: God is not a White Man
Chine McDonald in conversation with Sanjee Perera.

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