IMAGINATIONS ranged freely in response to our last caption
competition picture. Strangely, there were only a couple of
references to the big story during the competition period:
"That must be the 300th photo I've seen of Prince
George" (Richard Hough); and "Sorry, Sir, they've
named him after the Chancellor" (Richard Barnes).
But there were plenty of references to other stories:
"No, Prime Minister, you're miles from the Road to
Recovery; you must've taken the Wonga turning" (Richard
Barnes); "Is that a Wonga interest rate, or the
Archbishop's blood pressure?" (Brian Simmons); and
"Now, Sir, about this man in a funny hat and a purple frock
who you say is trying to steal the moral high ground" (Ray
Even more up to date: "There's this tweet from a guy
called Milliband. He's making threatening remarks about your job,
finishing with 'We know where you live.' Would you like us to pay
him a visit?" (Jonathan Haigh). As for the Coalition:
"I don't suppose you've got a shot of Ed and Nick plotting
together?" (Richard Hough); and "This would be how
to un-friend the Lib Dems, but are you sure you should do
that?" (Sue Chick).
Then there was: "Tell me again - how do I turn off the
porn filter?" (Richard Grigson); and the vintage:
"That was the last time I went to one of Rebekah's kitchen
suppers" (Richard Hough).
Moses jokes were inevitable. The best was: "Very good,
Sir; but, as you claim to be Moses, perhaps you could explain how
the second tablet's gone missing" (Charles Taylor).
We allow our readers to be a little self-referential on
occasions: "What do the PM and a copper do with a couple of
hours to kill? Fill in the Church Times
questionnaire" (Don Manley); and "Oi! You're in
the wrong newspaper. This is the Church Times, not The
Tablet" (John Aves).
Relations between Downing Street and the constabulary have been
cool of late. Readers remember why: "Here we are, Sir. The
Defence of The Realm Act, section 97, sub-section 26, paragraph
(iii)c: 'In no circumstance may any velocipede or pedal cycle be
ridden or otherwise pass through the main gates that stand at the
junction of Downing Street and Whitehall'" (John Aves);
and: "What's more, Prime Minister, it's
pleb-proof" (Richard Strudwick). As for other brushes with
the law: "It definitely wasn't me driving"
Some observant readers just got personal: "You can see
how we do it on this app they gave us at the police college - how
to tie the perfect necktie" (Jonathan Haigh); and
"The Fashion Police present the Prime Minister with clear
evidence of a diagonal parting" (Steve Tilley).
We liked: "Is this PC PC PC?" and "The
PM wouldn't be the first person to be tempted by an apple"
(both Stewart Ridley); "David Cameron views the latest tool
in the fight against crime: the iPlod" and "The
awkward moment when you find that footage of your evenings out with
the Bullingdon Club has found its way on to YouTube" (both
James Betteridge); and "So all I need to do to cancel the
National Debt is hit the trash-bin symbol?" (Daphne
Two winners, this week, each of whom will receive Fairtrade
chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com), though
we might keep it in the fridge for a little while.
"But if I turn to the left, I'll face a leadership
challenge" Valerie Budd
"And this app works as a moral compass, sir.
Apparently you've just gone off a cliff" Russ
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(below). Entries must reach us by Friday 16 August.
By email to: email@example.com.
By post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition,
Church Times, 3rd Floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden
Lane, London, EC1Y 0TG. By fax to: 020 7490