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Caption Competition

by
09 August 2013

PA

IMAGINATIONS ranged freely in response to our last caption competition picture. Strangely, there were only a couple of references to the big story during the competition period: "That must be the 300th photo I've seen of Prince George" (Richard Hough); and "Sorry, Sir, they've named him after the Chancellor" (Richard Barnes).

But there were plenty of references to other stories: "No, Prime Minister, you're miles from the Road to Recovery; you must've taken the Wonga turning" (Richard Barnes); "Is that a Wonga interest rate, or the Archbishop's blood pressure?" (Brian Simmons); and "Now, Sir, about this man in a funny hat and a purple frock who you say is trying to steal the moral high ground" (Ray Morris).

Even more up to date: "There's this tweet from a guy called Milliband. He's making threatening remarks about your job, finishing with 'We know where you live.' Would you like us to pay him a visit?" (Jonathan Haigh). As for the Coalition: "I don't suppose you've got a shot of Ed and Nick plotting together?" (Richard Hough); and "This would be how to un-friend the Lib Dems, but are you sure you should do that?" (Sue Chick).

Then there was: "Tell me again - how do I turn off the porn filter?" (Richard Grigson); and the vintage: "That was the last time I went to one of Rebekah's kitchen suppers" (Richard Hough).

Moses jokes were inevitable. The best was: "Very good, Sir; but, as you claim to be Moses, perhaps you could explain how the second tablet's gone missing" (Charles Taylor).

We allow our readers to be a little self-referential on occasions: "What do the PM and a copper do with a couple of hours to kill? Fill in the Church Times questionnaire" (Don Manley); and "Oi! You're in the wrong newspaper. This is the Church Times, not The Tablet" (John Aves).

Relations between Downing Street and the constabulary have been cool of late. Readers remember why: "Here we are, Sir. The Defence of The Realm Act, section 97, sub-section 26, paragraph (iii)c: 'In no circumstance may any velocipede or pedal cycle be ridden or otherwise pass through the main gates that stand at the junction of Downing Street and Whitehall'" (John Aves); and: "What's more, Prime Minister, it's pleb-proof" (Richard Strudwick). As for other brushes with the law: "It definitely wasn't me driving" (Valerie Budd).

Some observant readers just got personal: "You can see how we do it on this app they gave us at the police college - how to tie the perfect necktie" (Jonathan Haigh); and "The Fashion Police present the Prime Minister with clear evidence of a diagonal parting" (Steve Tilley).

We liked: "Is this PC PC PC?" and "The PM wouldn't be the first person to be tempted by an apple" (both Stewart Ridley); "David Cameron views the latest tool in the fight against crime: the iPlod" and "The awkward moment when you find that footage of your evenings out with the Bullingdon Club has found its way on to YouTube" (both James Betteridge); and "So all I need to do to cancel the National Debt is hit the trash-bin symbol?" (Daphne Foster).

Two winners, this week, each of whom will receive Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com), though we might keep it in the fridge for a little while.

"But if I turn to the left, I'll face a leadership challenge"  Valerie Budd 

"And this app works as a moral compass, sir. Apparently you've just gone off a cliff"  Russ Bravo

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 16 August. By email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk. By post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, 3rd Floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London, EC1Y 0TG. By fax to: 020 7490 7093

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Tue 16 Aug @ 09:51
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