Have a go at our next
caption-competition picture (above). Entries
must reach us by Friday 15 November.
by email to:
by post (postcards only) to:
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to:020 7490 7093
Last month's competition
THE offer of a case of Divine Advent calendars swelled our
caption-competition postbag last month. There was quality as well
as quantity: "The Navy's flirtation with flexible working
practices was over. From now on the padres would stick to praying
and the engineers would build the ships" (Martin Miller);
"The boat-building exercise for enhancing team ministry
didn't resonate success" (Chris Coupe); "A pool of
candidates for the vacant See of Bath and Wells?" (John Saxbee);
and "Fresh Expressions meets The Church Times TAP
Fund" (John Radford).
Several readers had a go at variations of the walking-on-water
theme. The two best were: "If this was the best the Padres
could do, the chances of the Navy holding on to their 'Walking on
Water' trophy weren't looking good" (Martin Miller), and
"The 'how to walk on water' weekend course was going to
have to be extended into the following week" (Chris
Other entries: "Pete, when you said the Church of
England was the best boat to fish from. . ." (Shaun
Clarkson); "Chaplains relax over a game of pool"
(Richard Barnes); "Normally the water goes in the font,
rather than the other way round" (Rachel Phillips); and
two from Richard Hough: "The Naval chaplain as representing
the senior service insisted on being the first to be
rescued" and "After the first 24 hours, hopes were
running low for rescue by a passing ship."
Also: "Was this really what the diocese meant when it
advertised for 'priests who welcome a titanic challenge'?"
(Ray Morris); "The new pantomime from the military
chaplains, based on Titanic, sadly sank without
trace" (Marcus Booth); and "The Chaplains' Corps'
synchronised-swimming costume needed a little more work"
There were several biblical references: "Deliver me out
of the mire, and let me not sink" (Psalm 69.14); and
"Visual Aid for sermon on Psalm 69.2: 'I am come into deep
waters, where the floods overflow me,'" both sent in by
Colin Sowter. Also: "If this is supposed to re-enact Paul
in the sea off Malta, who's going to handle the snake?"
(Chris Coupe); and "When Captain Noah discovered that all
the people he'd rescued from the flood were men, he realised he had
a problem on his hands" (Mary Hawkins).
Choose your poison: "Now, somebody turn all this into
wine and let's party!" (Rachel Phillips); "If we
try hard enough, do you think we could change it into
rum?" (Stephen L. Disley).
Half our readers will agree with Alison Rollin: "They
put a brave face on it, but they had to admit that the women had
been right." She also sent: "When they were
invited to concelebrate, they hadn't realised that it was for a
baptism with full immersion."
We had many favourites. Among them were: "Scientists
prove that the Titanic actually sank due to its carrying
far too many chaplains" (Rob Falconer); "Now we
know why there is a minimum-height requirement" (Valerie
Budd); "Partial immersion - how very Anglican!"
(John Saxbee); "I hope the washing machine is fixed
soon" (Brian Simmons); and "The Royal Navy expects
its chaplains to lead from the font" (John Appleby).
But we enjoyed all of the contributions, and it was hard to
choose a winner for the case of chocolate Advent calendars from
Divine (divinechocolate.com for more details of the
calendar and the story behind its chocolate). Thanks to Divine, and
congratulations to Carol Wardman, who will receive the prize in the
next few days. The chocolate prize for the next competition is a
little more modest, but still worth entering for.