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Caption Competition

08 November 2013


Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 15 November.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk 

by post (postcards only) to:  

Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House 
108-114 Golden Lane
London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to:020 7490 7093


Last month's competition

THE offer of a case of Divine Advent calendars swelled our caption-competition postbag last month. There was quality as well as quantity: "The Navy's flirtation with flexible working practices was over. From now on the padres would stick to praying and the engineers would build the ships" (Martin Miller); "The boat-building exercise for enhancing team ministry didn't resonate success" (Chris Coupe); "A pool of candidates for the vacant See of Bath and Wells?" (John Saxbee); and "Fresh Expressions meets The Church Times TAP Fund" (John Radford).

Several readers had a go at variations of the walking-on-water theme. The two best were: "If this was the best the Padres could do, the chances of the Navy holding on to their 'Walking on Water' trophy weren't looking good" (Martin Miller), and "The 'how to walk on water' weekend course was going to have to be extended into the following week" (Chris Coupe).

Other entries: "Pete, when you said the Church of England was the best boat to fish from. . ." (Shaun Clarkson); "Chaplains relax over a game of pool" (Richard Barnes); "Normally the water goes in the font, rather than the other way round" (Rachel Phillips); and two from Richard Hough: "The Naval chaplain as representing the senior service insisted on being the first to be rescued" and "After the first 24 hours, hopes were running low for rescue by a passing ship."

Also: "Was this really what the diocese meant when it advertised for 'priests who welcome a titanic challenge'?" (Ray Morris); "The new pantomime from the military chaplains, based on Titanic, sadly sank without trace" (Marcus Booth); and "The Chaplains' Corps' synchronised-swimming costume needed a little more work" (Edward Mynors).

There were several biblical references: "Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink" (Psalm 69.14); and "Visual Aid for sermon on Psalm 69.2: 'I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me,'" both sent in by Colin Sowter. Also: "If this is supposed to re-enact Paul in the sea off Malta, who's going to handle the snake?" (Chris Coupe); and "When Captain Noah discovered that all the people he'd rescued from the flood were men, he realised he had a problem on his hands" (Mary Hawkins).

Choose your poison: "Now, somebody turn all this into wine and let's party!" (Rachel Phillips); "If we try hard enough, do you think we could change it into rum?" (Stephen L. Disley).

Half our readers will agree with Alison Rollin: "They put a brave face on it, but they had to admit that the women had been right." She also sent: "When they were invited to concelebrate, they hadn't realised that it was for a baptism with full immersion."

We had many favourites. Among them were: "Scientists prove that the Titanic actually sank due to its carrying far too many chaplains" (Rob Falconer); "Now we know why there is a minimum-height requirement" (Valerie Budd); "Partial immersion - how very Anglican!" (John Saxbee); "I hope the washing machine is fixed soon" (Brian Simmons); and "The Royal Navy expects its chaplains to lead from the font" (John Appleby).

But we enjoyed all of the contributions, and it was hard to choose a winner for the case of chocolate Advent calendars from Divine (divinechocolate.com for more details of the calendar and the story behind its chocolate). Thanks to Divine, and congratulations to Carol Wardman, who will receive the prize in the next few days. The chocolate prize for the next competition is a little more modest, but still worth entering for.


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