AN Orthodox Christmas procession afforded readers the chance to
display their knowledge of Eastern ceremonial, right down to the
small boy on the phone: "No Oscar for Peter the
Hermit, after the continuity girl missed young Wat's mobile
phone" (Ray Morris); "The Young
Apprentice winner couldn't wait to tell his mum how he managed
to get Lord Sugar out on the church's annual parade"
(Marcus Booth); and "The small boy had forgotten his fish
and loaves, so he had to rely on a takeaway" (Chris
Coupe).
There were various stabs at what he might be saying:
"Hello, I'd like to order some frankincense and myrrh - to
take away, please" (Lynda Sebbage); "I'll be a bit
late home for lunch, Mum. I've just got a crusade to
fight" (Richard Strudwick); "It's OK, Mum, the
courts are cool about crosses these days" (John Saxbee);
"Can you bring your satnav? There are a load of stars, but
nobody knows which one to follow" (Sue Chick); and
"Knowing that his mum was worried that following a star was
a hazardous pursuit, he rang to reassure her that the Red Cross was
in attendance" (Michael Foster).
Not all eyes were on the boy with the phone. Several thought
they spotted the late Spike Milligan, including John Dean:
"King Herod: my part in his downfall." Charles
Taylor, too, concentrated on the figure on the right:
"Lion-hearted he may have been, but Richard took no chances
facing a free kick near his penalty area," and
"After the long procession, there was a massive queue for
the loo." We also had: "The Bishop chose to launch
the newly approved 'Fresh Expressions' mitre when leading the
winter pilgrimage" (John Hutchinson).
More generally, there was: "The crowd were obviously
looking for a good knight out" (Chris Coupe);
"There was chaos when someone shouted, 'Follow that
star'" (Bill de Quick); "A few years ago, sights
like these at the Church Times cricket final would have
been unthinkable" (Don Manley); and "Herod's plan
was to confuse the Magi with multiple stars" (John
Appleby).
All these were good, but the editor has decided to jeopardise
his warm relationship with our sponsors, Divine (divinechocolate.com), by selecting three
winners, each of whom will be sent a supply of Fairtrade
chocolate.
And Mum said, "Go and search diligently for Brian Cox;
and when ye have found him, text me, that I may come and worship
him also." Richard Barnes
Phoning an agent before hearing Simon Cowell's verdict
was a little optimistic of St George's Community Church, I
felt. Vicky Lundberg
"It's Herod: what shall I tell him?"
"T-Mobile wants to know if it can share our
transmitter." Valerie Budd
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(below). Entries must reach us by Friday 1 February.
by email
to:captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
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