Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (above). Entries must reach us by Friday 10 January.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, 3rd floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093 

The response to the bidding was: "And fire in us the love of our Kindle"  Richard Martin

WHO would have thought it? Mobile devices appear to be unpopular in church.

Grumpiness dominated our latest caption competition: "How much holy water would it take to disable these wretched things and prevent them from disrupting the liturgy?" (David Gornal Jones); "To ensure that there are no distractions during the service, worshippers are frisked beforehand for mobile phones etc., which are then aspersed for good measure" (M. J. Leppard); "All these were confiscated during the sermon" (Janet Stockton); "Every Christmas, all the phones that rang during the carol service were confiscated, blessed, and sent to a mission partner in a remote part of Mongolia" (Edward Mynors); and "Having confiscated everyone's iPhones, a good sprinkling with water from the River Jordan would ensure that they never interrupted a service again" (John Radford).

Beyond this, there were a few entries about reception: "For what we are receiving, may the Lord make us truly thankful. Amen" (Richard Strudwick); and something that sounded personal and heartfelt: "In a last-ditch attempt to get a usable signal in the village, Christ Church dusted off the aspergillum and aspersorium that they found at the back of the safe" (John Aves).

The mobile world lends itself to endless puns: "The inauguration of the new cell-church started with a blessing" (Michael Foster); "As Frankie Howerd would have said, 'Twitter ye not!'" (Richard Barnes); "Phish and chips?" (Christopher Drew); "You can judge the age of a church by the style of its apps" (John Appleby and Robert Stewart); "Forgive us our sims" (John Appleby); ".com all ye faithful" (John Saxbee); and "I've just collected these from the churchwardens, the choir, and the PCC. Yes, they are the apps of the apostles" (Brian Simmons).

A few random entries: "At Harvest, the blackberry, apple, and raspberry pies were blessed in the traditional manner" and "The ChristKindle Service was popular with the young people of the church" (both Richard Barnes); "The first meeting of Social Networking Anonymous was well attended, but the blessing of the iPads with holy water put all the members on edge" and "Sprinkling the devices with holy water to deter trolls entering their networking sites was not based on any scientific knowledge, but Graham gave it a go" (both Vicky Lundberg); and "Her Majesty had reluctantly agreed to update the Maundy Thursday distribution" (Ray Morris).

Also: "They'd gone terribly iChurch at St App-olinaris's" (Peter Potter); "Bashing of Devices in a Basket was a ritual much revered by the Order of St Luddite" (Russ Bravo); "When the Vicar suggested bringing apples for the Harvest Festival he hadn't reckoned with this result" (Richard Hough); and "Only the new Burberry smartphone proved holy-waterproof" (John Lloyd).

We also got enjoyment out of: "iChurch or High Church? That is the question" (Christopher Drew); "Oh, do be careful: Moses dropped the first two" (Louise Noble); "After the sermon on 1 Corinthians 15.13, 'evil communications corrupt good manners', several of the congregation brought their misused mobiles phones for a blessing" (M. J. Leppard); "Downloading the Sunday Worship app is easy. Installing it is a little more traditional" (Nancy Goodrich); and "Now they will have to listen to the sermon" (Don Manley).

We particularly liked: "And they thought he only wanted to bless them. . ." (Valerie Budd); "Doesn't anyone carry cash any more?" (Brian Simmons); "The Pilling report also contained guidance on the Blessing of Virtual Relationships" (Richard Barnes); and "The man at the back made rude gestures as the pickpockets were leaving the building" (Wendy Hall).

We award a special prize to Corin Child, who spotted a link between the caption-competition photo and the ad below it: "Giving up touchscreens for Advent was so popular that even the person in the Autosave advert decided to hand one in."

Otherwise, the prize of Christmas Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com) is awarded to a liturgical entry, if a little out of season.

The response to the bidding was: "And fire in us the love of our Kindle"   Richard Martin