Having failed to get croquet into the London Olympics, their bid
for the Winter Olympics wasn't going too well, either.
Andrew Craig
Apparently, the Inuit don't have any words for croquet. .
.
John Dean
THERE was an impressive set of suggestions for our latest
caption-competition photo, kindly supplied by ordinands at - well,
perhaps best not to say.
In no particular order:"Watching through the window the
ladies all agreed that men really are from Mars"(Vicky
Lundberg);"So this is what is meant by putting us through
the hoops on a team-building exercise"(Sue Chick);
and"Some people will do anything for Pimm's"(Clare
Griffiths).
Then there were:"Relaxing at General Synod, some members
were determined to uphold tradition however much the context had
changed"(Caspar Bush);"Competitors for
theChurch TimesCroquet Cup are a hardier lot than their
cricketing colleagues"(Don Manley);"The DAC took
seriously the PCC faculty application to remove the parish church's
all-weather croquet lawn"(Andrew Barton);
and"Undeterred, the enthusiastic Global Warming Committee
went ahead with its first event of the year"(Roger
Knight).
Several readers offered a couple of entries:"Do you
think we could try darts next time?"and"The game
length of the spring match was analogous of progress in the Church
of England"(Chris Coupe);"OT News: Moses
predicting heavy falls of manna"and"Roquet
Science! High-energy collisions at CERN Croquet Club confirm the
existence of the God particle"(Richard Barnes);
and"Snow Croquet: less violent than ice hockey, but far
more vicious"and"This was one ball the ball boy
would not be lying on"(Jonnie Parkin).
Those who dislike double entendres might look away at this
point:"Unlike women aspiring to be bishops, our balls don't
have to go through hoops, though both may get a frosty
reception"(Phillip Swindells); and"Grown men
bashing each other's balls with big wooden hammers in freezing
conditions. Now that's ministerial formation"(Jonnie
Parkin). In the same vein, we had:"What was that aphorism
about brazen primates?"(Charles Taylor).
Similarly, those who dislike puns:"It's snow good, I
can't see the ball"(Richard Hough); and, another from
Jonnie Parkin:"Snoquet".Other variations
were"It became obvious there had been a misunderstanding
when the church wives suggested croquettes as a winter
warmer"(Sarah Crozier); and"Some hardy dyslexics
join the knitting and crocheting group"(Peter Ball).
Among our favourites were the off-piste suggestions:"The
Principal vowed that after the game he would find out who had put
the detergent in the college fountain"(Ray
Morris);"Despite repeated appeals from the pulpit, only
three people turned up that afternoon to hunt for Fr Timothy's lost
nose-ring"(Claire Wilson);"Are you sure this where
you buried the gifts, Melchior?"(David J. Nash);
and"Arthur responded to the challenge: "Whosoever can pull
this brush out of the frozen ground - he is the chosen
one!"(Francis Ball).
All these were enjoyable, but, as in every extreme sport,
somebody has to be the winner. We stretched our supply of un-Lenten
choco late, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com) to two.
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(below). Entries must reach us by Friday 22 February.
by email to:
captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition Church Times 3rd floor Invicta House 108-114 Golden
Lane London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093