The Heart of Mindful Relationships: Meditations on
togetherness
Maria Arpa
Leaping Hare Press £7.99
(978-1-908005-29-8)
Church Times Bookshop £7.20
Mindfulness and the Art of Managing Anger:
Meditations on clearing the red mist
Mike Fisher
Leaping Hare Press £7.99
(978-1-908005-30-4)
Church Times Bookshop £7.20
THESE two books look very striking. With their coloured spines
and gold lettering, they are attractively produced, thoughtfully
designed, using pen and ink drawings, and are very similar in
format: both, for example, have exactly 143 pages, including the
index. Despite being eye-catching, they are no more expensive than
many small specialist books.
Prompted by their unusual appearance, the reader would do well
to Google the publisher, Leaping Hare Press, itself an imprint of
the Ivy Press, which specialises in producing beautifully crafted
books, illustrative of their Buddhist inspiration. Both these two
have the word "mindfulness" in their title, a word in increasingly
widespread use these days. The intrigued reader may discover a
short video of Adam Ford, explaining what mindfulness is, its
Buddhist derivation, and its relevance for us all today, whether or
not we have a personal Christian faith. It is, Ford says, about
embracing life in the present moment, letting the past go, and
resisting the temptation to look ahead, simply concentrating on
"now". Setting ourselves free to appreciate the very moment without
distraction, we are free to appreciate the peace, joy, and
happiness available to us.
Maria Arpa is an experienced and well-qualified London-based
mediator and counsellor. She also trained in conflict-resolution,
and is a Reiki Master. One of her passions is helping those in a
relationship to improve the quality and functioning of that
relationship, or, if necessary, to separate with the least damage
possible. She gives children's welfare top priority in her work as
a mediator, and in this little book, using the concept of
"mindfulness", she encourages people to learn to listen to
themselves, and thus move on to listen and respond sensitively to
the needs of their partner, thereby strengthening their
relationship. She does this in a very detailed, practical, and
thoughtful way.
Similarly, Mike Fisher, also London-based, is a counsellor,
facilitator, and anger-management guru, who founded the British
Association of Anger Management. He deals with the way in which
stress stimulates anger, and how dangerous it can be for all
relationships. Using his own experience of overcoming "toxic
anger", he guides anger-sufferers towards an improved understanding
of its deleterious effects, and how best to improve things by
listening to themselves. His practical approach, based on his
understanding of "mindfulness", describes how to achieve better
self-control, and how to improve both working and personal
relationships. Although recommending meditation, Fisher also
recommends sticking to what works best for you.
Both these titles are very practical, easy to handle,
well-structured, and benefit from the authors' considerable
experience. They both emphasise the need to start by knowing
oneself. Only then can one begin to come to terms with the
destructive forces of anger, or work towards improving
relationships. Loving oneself is a familiar tenet of Christianity,
as we learn thereby to love others as ourselves, and love "as he
loves us". Food for thought.
The Revd Jenny Francis is a retired psychotherapist and a
priest in the diocese of Exeter.