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Caption competition

14 June 2013


OUR last caption competition appeared near Trinity Sunday. This triggered an idea in several of our readers: "The Curate was starting to think it would have been wiser to stick with St Patrick's shamrock to illustrate his Trinity Sunday sermon" (Richard Barnes); "When he awoke, the Vicar realised he had been having a nightmare about trying to explain the Trinity to the Sunday school" (John Hutchinson); and "Preaching on Trinity Sunday is always a challenge, and Bernard's Punch and Judy show did nothing to enlighten anyone" (Vicky Lundberg).

Two other entries were concerned with preaching: "The chosen re-enactment of David, Uriah, and Bathsheba lacked something of the biblical gravitas" (Chris Coupe); and "This was not quite what the principal had in mind when he asked for a voice coach to help the students put more punch in their sermons" (Ray Morris).

The number of puppets was obviously unsettling: "There appeared to be three in this marriage" (Richard Hough); "Given that there were two Mr Punches, it may need a DNA test to settle paternity" (Chris Coupe); "Mr Punch's gay marriage upsets Judy" (Peter Ball); and "There was nearly an embarrassing punch-up at the church fête after the PCC double-booked the entertainment" (Rosemary Corfield).

Naturally, the issue of women bishops came up: "I know the others are wearing mitres, Mrs Punch - but you're a woman" (Martyn Halsall); "Judy was certain the new episcopal regalia was not to her liking, but felt that the Lady Archdeacon's dress code was a retrograde step" (Andrew Barton); "Reverend Judy, what do you mean, you're tired of being bashed and put down? I see no stick" (Liz Breuilly); and "'That's the way to do it!' suggested the man from the Crown Nominations Commission" (Richard Barnes).

Other entries we liked: "They said that without moving his lips" and "Graven images? Those who make them are like unto them: naughty, naughty, naughty!" (John Saxbee); "Wippells preview their new Messy Bishops Collection" (Richard Barnes); and "The organising committee regretted nominating Mr Punch to provide the sausages for the parish supper" (James Betteridge). In the interfaith corner, we had: "There seemed to have been some interlopers during the Festival of the Booths" (Sue Chick).

Favourites were: "As he realised that his hands were stuck fast, the urge to have to visit the bathroom induced growing panic" (Chris Coupe); "When the Vicar suggested punch for the annual parish barbecue, some of the social committee misunderstood him" (Richard Hough); "It was hoped there would be other candidates putting themselves forward for child-protection officer. . ." (James Betteridge); and "Does it actually state that PCC members have to be human?" (Jon Glossop).

The editor chose two winners, who will receive a prize of fairly traded chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com).

Mr Punch's regular abuse of Judy had been tolerated as an amusing traditional relationship issue, but when he contracted a civil partnership, he was banned from the church fête
Christopher Tookey   

The puppeteer at the Bishop's garden party made a mistake when he asked the children who was the clown with a pointed hat and carrying a stick
Charles Taylor

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 21 June.

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