OUR last caption
competition appeared near Trinity Sunday. This triggered an idea in
several of our readers: "The Curate was starting to think
it would have been wiser to stick with St Patrick's shamrock to
illustrate his Trinity Sunday sermon" (Richard Barnes);
"When he awoke, the Vicar realised he had been having a
nightmare about trying to explain the Trinity to the Sunday
school" (John Hutchinson); and "Preaching on
Trinity Sunday is always a challenge, and Bernard's Punch and Judy
show did nothing to enlighten anyone" (Vicky
Lundberg).
Two other entries were
concerned with preaching: "The chosen re-enactment of
David, Uriah, and Bathsheba lacked something of the biblical
gravitas" (Chris Coupe); and "This was not quite
what the principal had in mind when he asked for a voice coach to
help the students put more punch in their sermons" (Ray
Morris).
The number of puppets was
obviously unsettling: "There appeared to be three in this
marriage" (Richard Hough); "Given that there were
two Mr Punches, it may need a DNA test to settle
paternity" (Chris Coupe); "Mr Punch's gay marriage
upsets Judy" (Peter Ball); and "There was nearly
an embarrassing punch-up at the church fête after the PCC
double-booked the entertainment" (Rosemary Corfield).
Naturally, the issue of
women bishops came up: "I know the others are wearing
mitres, Mrs Punch - but you're a woman" (Martyn Halsall);
"Judy was certain the new episcopal regalia was not to her
liking, but felt that the Lady Archdeacon's dress code was a
retrograde step" (Andrew Barton); "Reverend Judy,
what do you mean, you're tired of being bashed and put down? I see
no stick" (Liz Breuilly); and "'That's the way to
do it!' suggested the man from the Crown Nominations
Commission" (Richard Barnes).
Other entries we liked:
"They said that without moving his lips" and
"Graven images? Those who make them are like unto them:
naughty, naughty, naughty!" (John Saxbee);
"Wippells preview their new Messy Bishops
Collection" (Richard Barnes); and "The organising
committee regretted nominating Mr Punch to provide the sausages for
the parish supper" (James Betteridge). In the interfaith
corner, we had: "There seemed to have been some interlopers
during the Festival of the Booths" (Sue Chick).
Favourites were:
"As he realised that his hands were stuck fast, the urge to
have to visit the bathroom induced growing panic" (Chris
Coupe); "When the Vicar suggested punch for the annual
parish barbecue, some of the social committee misunderstood
him" (Richard Hough); "It was hoped there would be
other candidates putting themselves forward for child-protection
officer. . ." (James Betteridge); and "Does it
actually state that PCC members have to be human?" (Jon
Glossop).
The editor chose two
winners, who will receive a prize of fairly traded chocolate,
kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com).
Mr Punch's regular abuse of Judy had been
tolerated as an amusing traditional relationship issue, but when he
contracted a civil partnership, he was banned from the church
fête
Christopher Tookey
The puppeteer at the Bishop's garden party made a
mistake when he asked the children who was the clown with a pointed
hat and carrying a stick
Charles Taylor
Have a go at our next caption-competition
picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 21
June.