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Caption Competition

13 September 2013

"The new incumbent usually knocks on the door, Sir"
Richard Barnes

"The new incumbent usually knocks on the door, Sir"
Richard Barnes

IF WE had to share the Divine chocolate prize among everyone who suggested "Let us spray" for the last Church Times caption competition, each would get half a square, at most. It was the most fitting caption, admittedly. Variations included: "Let us spray for the young people of this parish" (Richard Barnes); "It was the exceptional sibilance in the way the bishop had said 'Let us pray' that provided the inspiration for an experiment in alternative worship" (Don Manley); "Let us spray. No, that's far too obvious" (Neil Inkley); and "If anyone else says 'Let us spray', I'll scream!" (John Saxbee).

Several came in on a political theme: "With a credit union planned, he thought the Church could be a bit more Banksy" (John Saxbee); "The Rogation procession was the perfect cover for spraying 'Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin' on the Wonga premises" (M. J. Leppard); and "I don't think that is the right way to spell "fracking" (Jim Pye).

More generally, we had: "The young people had got quite carried away with Messy Church. Oh well, thought the vicar, if you can't beat them, join them" (Giles Goddard, the priest in the photograph); "Suddenly he wished he had never been persuaded into doing a Messy funeral" (Adrian Low); and "It's not what the Bishop had in mind when sanctioning the clergy's extra-mural activities" (another by John Saxbee).

Also: "Kev the Rev had a can-do attitude to youth work" (Richard Barnes); "Good luck getting this passed by the Fabric Advisory Committee" (James K. Betteridge); "The diocesan exorcist was assured that the new garlic spray would revolutionise his ministry" (Ray Morris). And: "Gavin so hoped that this would tick the street-cred box, and that he wouldn't have to rap and wear low-slung jeans, too" (Vicky Lundberg); "Don't you children ever watch The Life of Brian? It's 'Romani, ite domum'" (Marcus Booth); and "The Vicar should have sprayed the CCTV camera first" (Jim Pye).

We particularly liked: "If you hold a stick in your left hand when you do it, children, it's allowed" (Mark Ormerod); "No! No! No! Point it away from you. Here, let me show you" (Stuart Barber); and "Liturgy and gardening in one hand, spray-decorating the vicarage with the other hand, while earning a crust as male photographic model and part-time ticket collector - such is house-for-duty ministry" (Adrian Low).

Once again the prize for the best entry has been donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com).

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 20 September. 

By email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk. 

By post  (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, 3rd Floor, Invicta House, 108-114 Golden Lane, London, EC1Y 0TG. 

By fax to: 020 7490 7093



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