THE inauguaration of the
new Nene Crossings Benefice by the Bishop of Brixworth attracted
more than the usual number of entries to our caption
competition.
There were a few
predictable themes: "Well, it worked for Moses"
(Rachel Phillips); "If Moses could part the Red Sea, surely
you can part the Nene" (Richard Barnes); "It was a
long wait for the strong east wind" (Roger Knight); and
"The daring plan to escape Pharaoh had just one flaw: the
bridge 200 yards away" (Jonnie Parkin).
Similarly: "We
might be able to find your mitre when the lock empties, my
Lord" (Rachel Corfield); "As his pectoral cross
sank, the Bishop's Chaplain knew who'd be following it into the
canal" (Chris Coupe); and "It's no good, Bishop.
It looks like you've lost your mitre and the top of your
crook" (Allan Palmer).
Then there were the Jesus
references: "I thought 'canal walk' meant along the
towpath" (Valerie Budd); and "Don't worry about
the boat: I'll walk from here" (John Middleditch).
Alternatively: "Bishop John was heard to say 'One hundred
and fifty-one, one hundred and fifty-two. . . bring the net
please'" (Geoff Baguley).
Several sharp-eyed
readers noticed what was floating in the canal: "The palm
cross re- enactment of the opening sequence of The Mission
was not quite as dramatic as the original" (Jonnie
Parkin); "On reflection, the Bishop decided not to follow
the way of the cross(es) after all" (Nigel Sinclair); and
"The Bishop waited anxiously for his donkey to
surface" (Valerie Budd).
More randomly, we had:
"'That's it, Bishop,' mused his chaplain, 'just a little a
closer. . .'" and "The Bishop wondered if the
value of the scrap iron in the canal might help balance the
diocesan budget," both by Chris Coupe; "'Have you
been saved?' asked the Bishop. 'Saved? I haven't been in yet,'
replied the passer-by. And there began the problem" (David
Wright);
A couple of unflattering
observations: "I dunno: can't take the Bishop anywhere near
water and he starts feeling sick" (David Nash); and
"Oh dear! That extra glass of sherry with the archdeacon at
lunchtime was not wise" (Nicholas Varnon). And we suppose
that, in real life, the Bishop need not be warned: "Be
careful, Bishop. Remember Narcissus" (Audrey Rawlins).
Also, there were:
"The Bishop, Archdeacon, and Rector were hoping the
assistant clergy would come up for air" (Stan Haworth);
"Well, it's not our fault, Father. She did ask for it by
total immersion - though perhaps near the lock wasn't the wisest
choice" (John Hutchinson); "In spite of the
bishop's fervent prayers, the parish failed in its bid to be
twinned with Venice" (Ray Morris); and two from Charles
Taylor: "My Pooh-stick's bigger than yours!" and
"Seeing the Bishop about to board, the Archdeacon quickly
ordered full astern."
We particularly liked:
"If you ask me, Bishop, that's the best place for that
sermon" (Brian Simmons); "Then Bishop John said to
the fish, 'Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching
people" (June Vadja); "At first, even the senior
clergy failed to recognise the threat of the Vikings"
(Ernest Nelson); and "And then he thought of the women
clergy he'd be leaving behind" (Don Manley).
If there had been a prize
for the strangest observation, it would have gone to Adrian Low
for: "When he let down his hair and rolled it into a tube
like that, the Bishop thought it made him look like a
woman." You can see it now that he's mentioned it, but
would you have thought of it?
As always, we enjoyed all
the entries, but one stood out, winning its sender some Fairtrade
chocolate, courtesy of Divine (divinechocolate.com).
Have a go at our next
caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by
Friday 19 July