By requesting "just tins" the food bank got more than it
bargained for
Rachel Phillips
The good people of Durham had heard terrible stories of
the deprivation in Kent
Richard Hough
THE entries for this week's caption competition fell into two
categories: before and after the vote.
Dealing with the latter first, we had the inevitable variations
on the Heinz tagline: "A good rehearsal for the 57
varieties of Anglicanism, I suppose" (Diana Jones);
"57 varieties, eh? Now what's two-thirds of 57?"
(John Swanson); and two from Richard Barnes: "Just 57
varieties: I should be so lucky," and "Bishop
Welby expresses frustration that women bishops have been canned for
another five years."
We also had: "This must be the can of worms the Synod
refused to open" (Andrew Saunders); and "Ah, rat
poison! Just what I need for the Synod" (Richard
Broadberry).
Enough of all that. Readers were generally just happy to welcome
Bishop Welby to his new office: "Best Before End March
2013. Mmm, wish I hadn't read that" (Steve Morris);
"The Archbishop-designate was training hard in readiness
for carrying the can for everything" (Derek Wellman); and
"For what has 'bean' - thanks; for what is yet to be -
HELP!" (Sandra Tracey).
There were plenty more: "The ones in oil are suddenly
not so popular" (Valerie Budd); "Justin so wished
he had read the job description more carefully" (Vicky
Lundberg); and "Surely there'll be shops in
Canterbury?" (Gill Wyatt).
We would have been disappointed if we had not received the
following: "The Archbishop-elect was full of beans about
his new appointment" (Rodney Holder); "Beans?" he
asked, eyeing the can suspiciously. "Are you sure it's not
worms?" (Peter M. Potter); "The Bishop feared that
he might always be thought of a bean-counter" (Chris
Coupe); and "Despite heavy questioning from journalists,
the Bishop was determined not to spill the beans" (Andrew
Downes).
In the not-sure-you-want-your-name-associated-with-these
department, we had: "Justin time, the Archbishop-designate
noticed this can of worms was Welby-ond its sell-by date"
(Angie Lauener); "These might help difficult motions pass
through Synod and get the Church moving again" (Stewart
Ridley); and "Lord, have I really BEEN here long enough to
take on this new job?" (Roger Knight).
Congratulations to Jonathan Haigh for acknowledging the actual
occasion of the photo: "Done the banking sector, now for
the food-banking sector." And for John Saxbee, for
remembering Dr Williams's description of the requirements for
office: "Ah, constitution of oxtail. Now, where's the
rhinoceros hide?"
We were particularly taken with: "The Archbishop-elect
began his ministry of reconciliation by overseeing the distribution
of consolation prizes to the other front runners" (Simon
Taylor); "With a wife, five children, and soon two palaces
to maintain, Bishop Justin was grateful for the food
parcel" (Charles Taylor); "The relief was
palpable. They had found someone to carry the can" (Jonnie
Parkin); and "It can't be out of date; I've only been here
a year" (Danny Black).
All were worthy of the prize of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly
donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com), but we have chosen two
winners (above) in our usual arbitrary style.
by email to:
captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk
Have a go at our next caption-competition picture
(below). Entries to reach us by Friday 7 December.
by post (postcards only) to: Caption
Competition, Church Times, Invicta House, 3rd Floor, 108-114 Golden
Lane, London EC1Y 0TG
by fax to: 020 7490 7093