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Caption competition

by
30 November 2012

KEITH BLUNDY/AEGIES ASSOCIATES

By requesting "just tins" the food bank got more than it bargained for
Rachel Phillips

The good people of Durham had heard terrible stories of the deprivation in Kent
Richard Hough


THE entries for this week's caption competition fell into two categories: before and after the vote.

Dealing with the latter first, we had the inevitable variations on the Heinz tagline: "A good rehearsal for the 57 varieties of Anglicanism, I suppose" (Diana Jones); "57 varieties, eh? Now what's two-thirds of 57?" (John Swanson); and two from Richard Barnes: "Just 57 varieties: I should be so lucky," and "Bishop Welby expresses frustration that women bishops have been canned for another five years."

We also had: "This must be the can of worms the Synod refused to open" (Andrew Saunders); and "Ah, rat poison! Just what I need for the Synod" (Richard Broadberry).

Enough of all that. Readers were generally just happy to welcome Bishop Welby to his new office: "Best Before End March 2013. Mmm, wish I hadn't read that" (Steve Morris); "The Archbishop-designate was training hard in readiness for carrying the can for everything" (Derek Wellman); and "For what has 'bean' - thanks; for what is yet to be - HELP!" (Sandra Tracey).

There were plenty more: "The ones in oil are suddenly not so popular" (Valerie Budd); "Justin so wished he had read the job description more carefully" (Vicky Lundberg); and "Surely there'll be shops in Canterbury?" (Gill Wyatt).

We would have been disappointed if we had not received the following: "The Archbishop-elect was full of beans about his new appointment" (Rodney Holder); "Beans?" he asked, eyeing the can suspiciously. "Are you sure it's not worms?" (Peter M. Potter); "The Bishop feared that he might always be thought of a bean-counter" (Chris Coupe); and "Despite heavy questioning from journalists, the Bishop was determined not to spill the beans" (Andrew Downes).

In the not-sure-you-want-your-name-associated-with-these department, we had: "Justin time, the Archbishop-designate noticed this can of worms was Welby-ond its sell-by date" (Angie Lauener); "These might help difficult motions pass through Synod and get the Church moving again" (Stewart Ridley); and "Lord, have I really BEEN here long enough to take on this new job?" (Roger Knight).

Congratulations to Jonathan Haigh for acknowledging the actual occasion of the photo: "Done the banking sector, now for the food-banking sector." And for John Saxbee, for remembering Dr Williams's description of the requirements for office: "Ah, constitution of oxtail. Now, where's the rhinoceros hide?"

We were particularly taken with: "The Archbishop-elect began his ministry of reconciliation by overseeing the distribution of consolation prizes to the other front runners" (Simon Taylor); "With a wife, five children, and soon two palaces to maintain, Bishop Justin was grateful for the food parcel" (Charles Taylor); "The relief was palpable. They had found someone to carry the can" (Jonnie Parkin); and "It can't be out of date; I've only been here a year" (Danny Black).

All were worthy of the prize of Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com), but we have chosen two winners (above) in our usual arbitrary style.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries to reach us by Friday 7 December.

by post (postcards only) to: Caption Competition, Church Times, Invicta House, 3rd Floor, 108-114 Golden Lane, London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

 

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