Before we ever learn to love, we are loved, and it is this free
gift - neither earned nor deserved - that gives strength and
meaning to our whole being. It comes from God; through our parents;
and through relatives and friends.
It makes life worth while; and, in return for this gift, nothing
is asked, except that we respond to love and give love in return.
Where love is poured in, let it flow out to others and infuse all
you do with purpose.
When life is a struggle, and everything appears to be against
you, remember that you are loved. When prayer seems to die, and
words will not come, seek to respond to love. St John Chrysostom
said: "Find the door to your heart, it is the door to the Kingdom
of God." In love, we discover God; in love, the doors of our whole
being are opened to a new life, a new world, and we move towards
healing and wholeness.
When visiting in hospital, I would often meet people whose
wounds would not heal, whose illness found no cure. Though pain was
eased, recovery was often halted. I became aware that many such
patients had no visitors, and often felt uncared for and unwanted.
Although there were people around them who looked after them,
healing often really began only when they discovered that they
were missed by friends and neighbours.
One lady in such a plight received a surprise visit from her
daughter. For some reason they had lost contact with each other,
and the daughter discovered that her mother was in hospital from
someone else. She arrived in tears, and said how sorry she was not
to have come sooner, promising to visit every day, and to have her
mother stay with her as soon as she was well enough to leave
hospital.
From the time of her daughter's first visit, the mother's
recovery was rapid. She realised that she was loved and wanted: she
felt life was worth while, and began to mend. There are many
similar stories.
Not everyone receives love, or is born into a loving home. Many,
sadly, carry scars of being unloved, or of being injured in love or
betrayed by loved ones, and their confidence and trust are
diminished as a result. Children denied love often hold themselves
in low esteem, and do not thrive in the same way as those who are
surrounded by love. They will be hampered by these feelings until
they are loved and accepted by someone for who they are. In
reaching out in love, we can actually give new life to those who
are struggling just to survive.
For many years, my wife Denise and I were short-term foster
parents. We looked after children while a mother was in hospital or
needed respite care. Most of these youngsters were loved by their
parents and concerned about being away from them, but occasionally
we had a child who felt unloved by anyone. Usually they were either
desperate to please or, alternatively, railed against
everything.
Some expressed self-loathing, making it difficult to help them
or to build up their self-esteem in the short time they were with
us. We learned, time and time again, that love has great power to
heal and to bestow confidence.
One child, radiant after struggling for a while, was able to
say: "It's great here. You really do like me."
This is the last of four edited extracts from Occasions
for Alleluia by David Adam (SPCK, £8.99 (CT Bookshop
£8.10 - Use code CT895 ); 978-0-281-06577-6).