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Caption competition

by
21 December 2012

Sadly, not even the car proved to be convertible.

They had often wondered what a rev counter was for.

"OK, Sharon, have the kids baptised as Roman Catholics. But when it comes to the car. . ."

John Saxbee

The manufacturer's warranty ordained that the annual service should be carried out religiously.

Michael Foster

THERE isn't a caption photo in existence to which readers won't apply a contemporary reference: "It says here: 'Make sure you don't put a woman in the driving seat.' Oh, wait, this isn't the manual, it's the minutes of General Synod. . ." (Corin Child); and "It happened right after the General Synod vote. It just seemed to give up the ghost" (Allan Palmer).

In no particular order, and with no perceptible connections: "Top Gear investigates the latest Mass Transport System" (Richard Barnes); "It was the oddest emergency baptism that Fr Paul had ever been asked to do" (Valerie Budd); "When Bishop Welby announced a new liturgy for blessing the oil, this wasn't what we were expecting" (John Middleditch); "He was trying to remember which eucharistic prayer had the word "Reassembly is a reverse of the above procedure" (Stephen Disley); "Well, that didn't work. Let's try phoning Holy Trinity, Brompton" (Bob Torrens); "The garage couldn't explain the strange knocking in the engine, so they decided to try exorcism" (Christopher Wain).

In similar vein, i.e. no vein at all: "The blessings of the oils usually took place inside the cathedral" (Andy Greenhough); "The owners soon realised that the phone number for the vicarage was only slightly different from the number of the local repair garage" (Richard Hough); "The man from Ecclesiastical Insurance prayed that this cup might be taken from them" (Sue Chick).

We particularly liked: "And a voice came from heaven, 'Nah, sorry, mate. We only do Fiats'" (Richard Martin); "The BCP commination service came into its own" (Peter Ball); and "The problem seems to be caused by a failure of the catholic con-verter" (Allan Palmer).

In all these examples, we have omitted the most common play on words, which accounted for the bulk of the submissions. We have awarded a prize to Michael Foster for the best example of these. The other award goes to John Saxbee, for three of his entries. All prizes of Fairtrade chocolate have been kindly donated by Divine (divinechocolate.com).

 

Have a go at our next caption-competition picture (below). Entries must reach us by Friday 4 January.

by email to: captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk

 

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to:

Caption Competition

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020 7490 7093

 

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