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Allowing boys to be boys — and grow in faith

From the Revd Geoffrey Squire
Sir, — For the past 37 years, I have been the administrator and senior group leader of a small network of youth groups now known as Youthlink (England & Wales). I read with great interest the article “The lost boys” (Features, 7 March), and am in total agreement with much that is said.

Youthlink began as a small group for boy servers in North Devon back in 1971, but evolved to become “open” groups with evangelism as a key feature. In more recent times, there have been some mixed-sex groups and one girls-only group, but most have been groups of boys aged 11-17 under male leadership.

On several occasions, one of the boys has suggested the inclusion of girls in “their” group, but the majority usually think otherwise. Whereas, however, girls can speak quite openly of wishing to keep the Guides and other groups as “girls only”, boys find great diffcult in expressing their wish to belong to a boys-only group. Many find the need to prefix their comments with statements like, “I am not gay, but . . .” or “I like girls, but . . .”, and most remain silent, lest any comment about their liking boys-only groups sends a wrong signal about their sexual orientation to others in the group.

On numerous occasions, we have taken groups of boys to places like Walsingham, Iona, or Holy Island. Almost without exception, the youngsters later begin some in-depth discussion about matters of faith and spirituality, often in some quiet corner of a small youth hostel or around a campfire. The boys seem relaxed and able to express themselves freely in a way that would not happen in the same way if girls or female leaders were present.

Great things have happened as a result of these groups. Some who simply “went to church” have discovered a real living faith. Unbelievers have become believers. Some have found their vocation in life. Some have been helped to bring an end to the bullying or abuse that has blighted their young lives. Some have had their lives dramatically changed for the better. Almost all speak of the groups as being very special to them, and, as they get older, speak of them as having made a real mark on their lives.

Amazingly, some who had attended “services” for several years have discovered the holy eucharist and real spirituality only with these eucharistically centred groups. The percentage of those who remain faithful into adulthood is well above the average.

Youthlink encourages boys to invite their friends to go to church with them. It is interesting to note that the first they invite is usually a boy of similar age.

Although Youthlink’s maximum age has been 17, the “mentoring” of individuals has continued in many cases. Likewise, some have formed their own groups after reaching the age of 18, and Youthlink is just organising its first eclectic group for young adults.

We need to create the right environment for young people to explore matters of faith and be encouraged to evangelise others, and maybe some single-sex groups could be a key feature in that.
GEOFFREY SQUIRE
Little Cross, Northleigh Hill
Goodleigh, Barnstaple
Devon EX32 7NR

From the Revd Courtney Atkin
Sir, — There is an omission from the feature “The lost boys” exemplified by the illustration of the choir of Westminster Abbey.

It has fallen within my recent experience that a dedicated, competent, and long-standing all-male parish-church choir, with 16 singing boys and a full probationers’ pew (the last such choir in its diocese outside the cathedral, with a repertoire covering the full range of the Anglican choral tradition), has gone to the wall.

It fell victim to a campaign of denigration, which was highlighted by the omission of any mention of the choir in the 2000 Millennium exhibition of parish organisations. This was all the more astonishing, in view of the degree of commitment shown by the choir, with three practices every week and up to three services on a Sunday; more of both at festivals. The choir’s regular participation in services in its own and other cathedrals was similarly ignored.

The nadir was reached when, before a choral eucharist, the recently ordained president expressed her wish that the choir disrobe, a demand refused point- blank by the director of music. Bad as that was, at the point at which the president invites the congregation to join the choir in singing the Sanctus, she pointedly emphasised “saying”, leaving both choir and congregation in limbo.

Is it surprising that the boys of the choir, after a farewell appearance in the cathedral of a neighbouring diocese, voted with their feet? Boys are not fools. Or that the director of music, of more than 30 years’ standing, resigned, and has yet to be replaced on a permanent basis, her successor having himself resigned within six months of his appointment?
COURTNEY ATKIN
8 Saint Katherine’s
High Street, Ledbury
Herefordshire HR8 1DZ


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