| THE CHURCH needs to spruce up its act if it is to compete in the wedding market for couples who can choose to tie the knot in stately homes and romantic castles, a vicar warned fellow clerics this week.
The Church could lose its advantages if it does not use them wisely, says the Vicar of Chobham, in Surrey, the Revd Andrew Body, chairman of Family Life and Marriage Education (FLAME). In a book published this week, Making the Most of Weddings, he argues: “We have a responsibility to make the church option the most attractive of all. We have a tremendous start in having throughout the country venues that are second to none.
“We are setting their love in the context of the eternal love of God. A building that has been designed for the purpose has a head start over any room in a town hall, or, indeed, in a castle,” says Mr Body.
Research published last month suggested that couples wanted more than just the legal and social aspects of marriage (News, 19 January). “Our buildings are a means of articulating the transcendent for them.”
People making enquiries about their forthcoming marriage need to be congratulated, and not put off, Mr Body suggests. When they come to church to establish residency, it is an ideal time to share the advantages of attending church. If they like what they find — and many do — they could go on to become regular worshippers, Mr Body says.
Even marriage preparation is popular, and the Church should not be tentative about offering it, he says. But classes now are very different from the days when the GP came to talk about sex, the bank manager about finance, and the solicitor about buying a home.
“These days, the majority of couples are living together, have joint accounts, and their own flat or house. They may already have children. We need to address the real issues that concern today’s couples; so questions about infertility, step-parenting, coping with former partners, and gaining parents might come higher on the agenda,” says Mr Body.
But he suggests that, although clerics need to be involved in the wedding preparation, they do not need to be involved in the marriage preparation. Pastoral assistants could be trained to do this.
Mr Body proposes holding a betrothal ceremony at the time of the publishing of the banns of marriage. The couple could be photographed for the church noticeboard, and, on their wedding day, their pictures and names could be displayed outside the church as a personal welcome.
The book draws on the experience of a small church on a lake at Orchardleigh, a stately home in Somerset. The new owners saw the building’s potential, the Bishop encouraged the incumbent to draft in retired clergy, and weddings rocketed to 60 last year. A similar co-operation developed in Prestwold, in Leicestershire.
Mr Body also suggests that, when couples want to save money, churches could provide “free” days, or offer coffee and cake at the back of the church to cut numbers at the reception. Many charities now ran wedding lists for people who wanted presents that were ethically sourced or would benefit others.
“Giving a camel for a needy farmer is a reminder of the bride-prices of less enlightened times, and is showing love in a practical way.”
Making the Most of Weddings: A practical guide for churches is published by Church House Publishing (£6.99; 978-0-7151-4125-0). |
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