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Features > Caption competition >

Caption Competition

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This week's competition

Have a go at our next caption competition. Apologies to the Archbishop for targeting him twice in succession, but this photo with the Bishop of Chelmsford was an opportunity too good to pass up.

Entries for our next caption-competition picture (above) must reach us by Friday 30 May

by email to:

by post (postcards only) to:

Caption Competition
Church Times
3rd floor
Invicta House  
108-114 Golden Lane London EC1Y 0TG

by fax to: 020 7490 7093

Last week's competition


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Credit: PA


THERE were lots of entries for our caption-competition photo from the St Paul's service to mark 20 years since the ordination of women as priests.

Affirming, sisterly entries were in good supply: "You just don't realise how well us women multi-task" (Sally Muggeridge); "Trust me, I'm a woman" (Clair Southgate); "It's so easy, even a man could do it" (Michael Trodden); and so on.

Then there were the references to the Archbishop as deacon: "I thought you were bringing the wafers" (Tony Mathias); "Well, really, Archbishop, surely you know what a deacon should do" (Dennis Steer); "Don't ask me, luv. I'm new around here myself" (John Saxbee).

As for Philippa Boardman's gesture: "Why don't we save your fishing story for later?" (Harsha Mason); "Well if they were both that big no wonder he could feed 5000" (Sonia Falaschi-Ray); "You're right. The roof is leaking" (Ray Morris); and "There's no liturgical significance to this posture, Archbishop, but I'm going to keep looking at you with my arms like this as I think we've just been snapped for the Church Times caption competition" (John Radford).

Or there were: "I like action songs, too, Philippa, but does Wide, Wide as the Ocean really suit this part of the liturgy?" (Jonathan Haigh); "For one awful moment, Justin thought hehad forgotten the actions to YMCA" (Peter Chapman).

Also: "Give us a twirl, Philippa. Didn't they do well!" (Richard Barnes); "Do you come here often?" (Dennis Garland); "You'll soon bloody well have my job, won't you?" (Duncan Lloyd-James); "When I'm doing your job, my mitre will be this big" (Mark Williams); "How should I know where you put your car keys, Justin?" (Don Manley); "How far are we from a woman being Archbishop? As far as my left hand is to my right" and "See, Justin, I told you I could make the lights work" (both from Chris Coupe).

A few of our eagle-eyed readers spotted some incidental items: "I know, Archbishop, but my bifocal pectoral cross is being mended" (Liz Breuilly); "Having mislaid his pectoral cross, he admires her spectacular alternative" (John Saxbee); and the somewhat dated butstill magnificent: "Yes, you thought youwere here to joinour celebration. You thought you'd come to assist me as deacon. You thought this red book was the altar book. But tonight, Justin Welby - This is Your Life" (Steve Morris).

Other suggestions, presented more or less at random: "Now that we've got a quiet moment, what does a canon treasurer actually do?" (Jonathan Haigh); "Look. I know how much you enjoyed your trip to Rio, but there's no need to keep doing your impersonation of Christ The Redeemer" (Marcus Booth); and "Shall I do the washing-up now?" (Andrew Hunt).

Two winners, both of whom will receive Fairtrade chocolate, kindly donated by Divine ( 

"I've cleaned the cathedral, mended the robes and made the coffee - and now I'm going to lead this service" 

Michael Foster 

"Shall I be Mother?"

Edward Mynors


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